Onto 2016

Three months into the year 2016 and I am finally sitting down to reflect on 2015. I'm not one to set New Years resolutions but, I do like to look back on the year and think about how I can improve myself in the new year. 2015 was a big year for me. From January to May I was pretty much only consumed with nursing school. It was really my only focus. I ate, slept, breathed nursing school. It sounds dramatic but you only know how nursing school is if you're going through it. I wanted to be successful. And I was. I accomplished one of the hardest tasks I have ever done… and it felt damn good. As soon as graduation was over, I was right back studying for my boards. I locked myself in my room hours on end doing questions after questions and tests after tests. It was worth it because I passed.

By July 2015, I had completed two of the hardest things I have ever done. I was on cloud nine. Five years of really dedicating myself to something was finally worth it. By August I had accepted a full time RN position in my dream specialty. The first few weeks of working, and my first few paychecks (lets keep it real) I kept thinking to myself, this is why it was worth it. For the feeling of helping people, for the rush that comes over you when a patient is crashing, even for the exhaustion that comes after working three twelve hour shifts in a row, you know deep down in your heart that you are doing something not many people can do. I loved it, and I was hooked.

A major reason why I was so motivated to complete nursing school, and be successful was because I wanted to have a comfortable life. I was fortunate to grow up and see both my parents work hard to provide their family with everything they needed and more. I wanted that. I had a serious boyfriend throughout college for five years and every time I got down in the dumps and was frustrated with how much studying I was doing and the lack of sleep and social life, I would look at him and quickly be reminded why I was working so hard. I wanted a good life for us. Of course I was doing it for me too but in reality I was doing it for us. We had plans after college. Goals and dreams that we wanted to accomplish and achieve together. I was ready to finish out 2015 was a bang and think "Wow 2015 was my year. Our year". 

Unfortunately, that's not how 2015 ended. It was a rough rest of the year between switching to night shift, a breakup, a family death, etc. It was really tough to swallow. My goals and dreams suddenly needed to be shifted. All of a sudden I was going through this thing called life alone. Of course I had my family and girlfriends by my side but you know what I mean. It was scary and I didn't quite know what to do. The end of 2015 didn't quite end of how it started and it was a big stab to my heart. After accomplishing so much and being on cloud nine, how could it really end up like this?

As this blog states, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. However, it's a hard concept to believe in when your life completely changes and your world turns upside down. With the start of the new year, I have one concept I want to keep in mind. I don't want to make any resolutions or promises to myself. I want to be able to tell myself that everything gets better with time. Even though yesterday, today, or next week I won't understand why certain things and events happened, I do know that it gets better with time. February was better than December, today was better than yesterday and next month is going to be better than the last.

So here's to 2016! Believing that everything does happen for a reason and it only gets better with time.